Be The Queen Of Self Esteem

by Scott Smallwood

Many women have a “missing piece” which is deeply tied to feelings of not being good enough – not being able to measure up to the expectation of others or self, not being pretty enough, not being a good enough spouse or mother, etc. Feelings such as these lead a woman to see herself in a false light. A woman’s self-esteem then falls by the wayside.

Let’s look at a woman’s heart. As a woman, your heart is at the center of who you are. It is the source of all of your creativity and conviction -- the very essence of your being. Your heart is what makes you the crowning jewel of creation! You are hard-wired to have certain desires in your heart which have been set there since birth. As an example, one of these desires might be to be seen as captivating or alluring. Another might be to play a vital role in the life of another.

Few women seem to actually realize such desires. Many deal with the disappointments that result by either hiding out or indulging. It’s often easier to do this than to face the pain felt deep inside. But your questions remain: Am I wanted? Am I captivating to anyone? Am I worthwhile?

I believe that we are all meant to experience lives of joy and fulfillment. However, the desires of a woman’s heart and the way her life actually is are usually miles apart.

The truth is that every woman is someone whom the world desperately needs! Take a look at the creation story. First came the skies, waters, trees, animals, man, and, finally, woman…the crowning jewel. Talk about significance!

Every woman has beauty to unveil.Your beauty doesn’t come from a hair dresser or a plastic surgeon.It was given to you when you were created.

Chances are that you’ve lost sight of your beauty, your gifts, your desires or your purpose. You give so much of yourself to the caring of others that you forget to - or don’t feel that you have the “right” to - care for yourself. You may think that the amount of time you give in caring for others is noble. On one hand, it is. Let me tell you, though, that on the other hand it is not.
In neglecting self care and the occasional indulgence, you are actually short-changing those to whom you devote yourself. You are not able to give them your best because you are not AT your best. Both for their sakes and for yours, you must learn to avoid believing the story in your head that causes you to feel guilty about taking time for YOURSELF.

What Can You Do?

1. Accept responsibility.
Another person is not responsible for your happiness nor can they make you feel less than the woman who you are – the woman that the world desperately needs.

2. Distance yourself from those who are neither loving nor supportive.
Certainly, work to heal and strengthen all your relationships, but avoid those who drag you down. We are here to build each other up, not to tear each other down. Practice loving others AND loving yourself! Know that YOU are loved. Let it sweep over you and fill you up. Be grateful for it. Practicing gratitude is very important.

3. Realize that nothing is constant.
This goes for life and relationships as well as personal development. If you are not moving forward, you are moving backward. You are either living or dying.

4 Take time to recall past accomplishments -
things that made you feel good about yourself, what you did or how you did something. If you did it before, you can do it
again!

5. Find a mentor and model the things you see in them that appeal to you.

6. Change the way you think and the things you believe - the stories that incessantly play themselves over and over in your head. This mental noise is only “make believe.” The stories are not true!

Bolstering your self esteem and coming to believe (to know!) that you are the crowning jewel of creation does not happen by magic – it takes work. I promise you, though, that when you get “there,” it will feel like magic. It all starts with making a decision to change your internal programming and your results. The choice is YOURS. And YOU ARE WORTH IT!